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Wednesday, December 1st, 2004

Time:10:33 am.
Mood: numb.
It's been awhile.

I had a miscarriage.

ha. ha. ha. [/sarcasm]

I'm sure you already knew.

I guess this means you were right.
Comments: 1 Bleeding Heart - Hello Scarling.. .

Saturday, July 24th, 2004

Subject:Spend The Night.
Time:5:38 pm.
Mood: hyper.
Oh. My. God. They're turning my favorite book into a broadway musical. Ahh! Ahh! They're going to kill Monsieur Lestat. -tears up- Elton John is doing it, I guess.. AND AND AND!!!!!! OMMFG!! The Lenore Movie is coming out Next year!!! YES!! I love Lenore. She's the best cute little dead girl out there. I <3 Roman Dirge! He's. So. Fucking. Sexy. Mm..Lolli-Yum-pop. Well.. At least he's the hottest cartoonist that *I* know of. I've been talking to Shaun lots lately. Is that weird? Yes? No? I feel strangely clingy and attach-ed. No! -Gets Miss Independant flashes.- =>->=;; Meow... -whimper- Oh well. Ashley got out of Jail today! Yay! We're getting along uber well. Today I noticed how hot I am. XD. I mixed the Punk, and the goth, and hip hop look. Yes, I'm a trend setter. Bondage collar, arm warmer, spiked bracelet, black make-up, lots and lots of eyeliner, shorts, halter, and bandana.. And I can't foget the necklace that says "Brittany", and the the double ring that says "Princess" in pink rhinestones. Yeah. I know. I'm a cutie. Anyway. I. Am. Uber. Hyper. So I'ma jet.

-Brit

PS Caleida.com has EARLY ADOPTER accounts open.. I'm risiding @ StitchMyMouth.
My friend Bunny calls me "Miss Fixxit". Lmao.. She's sooo awesome. Also, I just finished reading, and memorizing "Lenore". It's below behind the cut.

Let the burial rite be read -- The funeral song be sung!Collapse )
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Sunday, July 18th, 2004

Subject:She'll Rise. She'll Rise. She'll Rise.
Time:4:36 am.
Mood: bouncy.
I feel like pissing people off. Lol. =D!

First off, don't get me wrong, Evanesnce is talented and all.. but is it just me or do they sound like they're riping off Rasputina, just a little bit..? And I'm sorry, but that is not Goth Rock. For goth rock please download "Spit And Rape" by Jack Off Jill, or "Tournequet" by Rasputina. I do believe Marilyn Manson produced both songs. Also, if you think Avril Lavigne is punk.. please download some Rancid. If you do not like that, you do not like punk. And also.. Good Charlotte is not emo. Dashboard Confessional is emo. Saves the day is emo. Taking Back Sunday could be considered emo-punk. I gave Wade my tickets to Roc-Da-Mic, for his birthday, and he's coming to my birthday dinner after Ashley is out of jail. =^_^= Wade is so awesome. I have been SO busy IRL, that I'm only online late at night. Eee. I met Ben-daddy's new girlfriend. She seems cool, but I have some suspicions concerning Fujii-sama, and you bet Ben-sama will hear my warnings. (Even though he wont heed them, and in the end will say.. "I don't know what happened.." and I'll have to say, "It's okay Ben-sama.. I understand. - Hug -") I miss him so much! I can't wait until he gets back.. Also.. "Ex" and I have been plotting some things XD. Believe me, I know everything that's going on. Like he doesn't have my back! Please, at least bitch to my face in an AIM so I can make you look stupid! I'm talking to Shaun\Rowen right now. He's sooo sweet.
Shaun18IBM: I think you're pretty, flirty, and sexy. >.>
Lol. Aww. Can't let Shaun-sama see that, though. He'll get all defensive, and ugh. And OMG! My poor Shaun-sama! His brother's house burned down, and he had to save his niece, and now he has burns on his back.. He called my mother this morning to let her know that he was in the hospital, and to tell me he was okay. Aww! That is so sweet! My mom and Shaun have such a good relationship. =@-@= Lol. Speaking off Shaun, he's taking screenshots of his Kenshin OAV on KaZaA, and sending them to me. Speaking of anime, Lain has been airing on TechTV's Extreme Anime hour block along with some other anime I dunno of. I have no idea what anime is on Action right now, but I intend to watch the rest og Gunsmith Cats, when it comes back on. Rally is my hero! And May is just like me! XD! Also..

Http://www.cherry-scented.net is up and off hiatus. Check it out.

-Brit\Jezebella
Comments: 4 Bleeding Hearts - Hello Scarling.. .

Subject:Quote.
Time:4:20 am.
Mood: bouncy.
I DO NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH THESE COCKY CAUCASIONS WHO THINK I'M SOME WIGGER WHO JUST TRIES TO BLACK CAUSE I TALK WITH AN ACCENT!

In other news...

Happy Birthday me! - Spreads the Love -
Comments: 1 Bleeding Heart - Hello Scarling.. .

Sunday, July 4th, 2004

Subject:Femme Meetup.
Time:7:31 pm.
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Subject:ATTENTION!!!!
Time:6:28 pm.
Attention!
All pissed-off dykes with no rights;
Wimmin sick of sexism and homophobia;
Lesbians who've had it up to our raised fists
with backlash fights and working with wimmin
who defend men's rights?.

DITCH all of that crap and come join some
militant wimmin for the very first meeting
of the Dykes' International Terrorist
Conspiracy from Hell* so we channel our
rage into productivestreet activist that's
by, for, and about lesbians.

*Where:
The LGBT Center -
2068 West 13th street, NYC
take the 1/2/3/9 to 14th street at 7th ave.
or the A/C/E to 14th street and 8th ave.

*When:
Thursday, July 17th, 2003, 6-8pm

*Why:
To stand up, to say "no more," to push back
against the conservatismof the United States
--from the tippy top of the government (i.e.
"President" Bush); to the oppressiveness of
everyday life (like getting harassed and
attacked in the streets, at work, by the media,
in schools); right down to the insanity of our
communities (like anti-feminist "feminist"
movements and anti-lesbian "queer" movements).

*This meeting and activist group is open to
ALL radical feminist dykes. This means that
if you're a lesbian womyn of any race, class,
level of education and activist experience
and you're dedicated to ending sexism,
heterosexism, racism, classism, and systems
that oppress wimmin, we WANT and NEED you.
However, if you want to crash our meeting
because you think it's more productive to
hate on feminism or lesbianism than to help
out or not block organizing feminists, because
you want to offer us dumb boy-worshipping
college arguments about why separatism is
evil, or to tell us we need to join your
movement or protest Le Tigre and the Butchies,
don't even bother. Go back to unconsciously
revering rapists. You rule.

For more information, e-mail marisa
at dykerevolution@y...
See you in the streets til then.
Much love and respect. xoxox
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Thursday, July 1st, 2004

Subject:Honesty is the best policy.
Time:10:12 am.
Mood: energetic.
I fucking HATE preps. MTV RUINED the fucking Warped Tour. The worst part is I might HAVE to go to hang around with Simple Plan backstage, and run the SP booth, if they're gonna have one again. I also hate how preps are like your friend to your face, but like, a fucking bitch behind your back. (Disclainer: Not all preps are this way. Just all the ones I know..) I think that's why I hate being friends with girls. They'll be all, "Lets hang out, lets do this, blah, blah.." then "Oh yeah, I hate her, she is so eww!" Or they'll tell you that they hate a certain person, then hang out with them behind your back. Sooo pathetic. It's very sad. I always tell the truth,a nd how I feel and etc, but I get bitched at because I say something someone doesn't want to hear. Then they'll sit back, and try to say that it isnt true, or try to justify it, or use the past as in excuse.

I'm sorry little girls... The past is -=- not -=- relevent. People change. Now, now, you can be mad at someone for what happened in the past, or what theyt did in the past, however, because they are responsible for what happened, however you shouldn't use the past against someone, unless they are continuing such things. I'm going to use Joel, Vera, and I as examples.

Vera and I bitched at Joel and said bad things.

Joel did mean things.

Vera was a good friend.

I backed down from everything.

Now.

Vera and I are still responsible for what we said about Joel, but that doesn't mean that you can say that all we do is bitch because of what happened forever ago.

Joel did do those bad things, that makes him responsible, that doesn't mean he's still the same person, but, as far I as know, he's still like that. (Because of what Bob is saying.)

Vera... she's not really anything to me anymore. More like a floating entity that I hear about, but don't talk to b/c she's become stuck up. She's the typical annoying girl\prep thing mentioned above.

Me: ..I generally stand up for myself until the other person backs down, or I lose oxygen. It's usually the first. I bitch a lot less, which no one realizes because I only update my journals, if I feel like complaining. And my Samar journal is ALL bitching, so people go looking for my rants and use them as excuses for saying that I don't have a sunny disposition. I hang out with my friends (Rory, Jen, Jeff, Cory, Ari, Shane, Anthony, etc.) more. Really the only people, I like online anymore are Shaun, Alex, and Anita, and the folks I R/P with at No Mercy. (Regan, Anji, Mona, etc.)


More, more...

I'm taking C-s.n off hiatus. Whoo. the joy. Loobeh and I are still doing the domain ring, (I think..) and I finally downloaded the new White Stripes CD - "Elephant". And I saw Creeper Lagoon in concert! I want to see scarling., and Dashboard Confessional soo bad! DashB-C re-released Swiss Army Romance, with new previously unreleased songs! Yay! Downloaded more M. Manson (Sweet Dreams Cover [Remix]), Bikini Kill (Suck My Left One) , Velvet Acid Christ (Fuck You Bitch!), Some ThrowDown, HateBreed, and supposedly scarling. did a cover of "Creep" (Originally by Radioheed.). Will download that too. I also need to D/L "H/C" (Pronounced H Over C) by scarling. Good shit. Well, I'm out. Grad party. Will leave compy on for AIM messages.. Send.
Comments: 25 Bleeding Hearts - Hello Scarling.. .

Sunday, June 27th, 2004

Subject:OMG OMG OMG OMMFG!!!!!!!!!!!
Time:8:45 am.
Mood: ecstatic.
I'M

GOING

TO

JAPAN

FOR

A

SEMESTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





In September. That is...


....If I can get the money and\or a partial scholorship.

Sigh. I wanna go sooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaad.

I'll miss you all.

....but.....

................................I'LL BE IN JAPAN!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! IT'S A DREAM COME TRUUUUUUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy! Oh so happy! I'm so happy, it's a miracle! La la la.. Oooooooooooooh I can't wait to tell Ben! And Shaun! And Meka! And Ani! And Alex! And eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The RAPTURE!
Comments: 5 Bleeding Hearts - Hello Scarling.. .

Saturday, June 26th, 2004

Subject:I had to do this.
Time:5:20 am.
Pick ANY 20 LJ users. Without revealing their names, say something about or to each one of them. Never reveal who is what.

1. You are so adorable and huggable. Cuddling with you made me so happy I don't know if anything rivals that. You NEVER update anymore. I never call anymore. I miss you.

2. You are great. we never really talk anymore but when we do it's always fun and cheers me up right away. You are an awesome big sister. Lets paint the white house blue!

3. You! Eee! We used to hate each other more than Jews hated Hitler. I don't remember anymore. You'll really cool now, and we never talk unless something's going on. I understand you so much, and I think you're really great sometimes.

4. BEST FRIEND ALERT!!! Lmao. You are such a Joel!! (Inside joke.) J/k! I remember you saying "Your phone may die but our friendship never will". You were so right. Rock on girl. You're my hero.

5. Onee-san. You are my general support system. You've showed me when I was dreaming, and you broght me back to reality. You are so awesome. Your brother sucks. =P

6. Another one of my heroes. You scammed so many Avril lovers that you deserve a parade, and you reserve the right to hang Avril by her tie.

7. You are never gonna read this. Do you even LOOK at LJ's anymore, hun? I don't think so. Last time we talked you had some issues, but it was tight. I miss you! One Luv.

I give up. I'll do more later. =x.x=;

Read more...Collapse )
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Thursday, June 24th, 2004

Time:6:07 am.
The television screen is streaked with blood and smeared from my knuckles as I was trying to punch it out but I underestimated its strength, or maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough.

Startled by a knock at the door I rise for the first time in two days to answer, but I can only greet you with one short statement.

Hello my name is distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again.

Hello my name is distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again.

Hello I really don't care if I never wake up again.

I really don't care if I never wake up again....
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Time:4:00 am.
Mood: accomplished.
Will the following please visit Samara's Hell But MAKE SURE YOU ARE Logged in.

Alex (Who is absent.)
Anita
Ellie
Keisha
Meka
Mee Na

If you think someone did NOT get this message please tell them promptly.
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004

Time:6:31 am.
samara
You are Samara! Look at you, you are the link to
all the fear. You lived a complicated life, and
you loved your mother, Anna, but you didn't
know why she went crazy and killed you. What a
poor life you had, and in your afterlife, you
are ready for revenge! You just wanted to be
heard, and you are heard now!


What Character from 'The Ring' Are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Tuesday, June 15th, 2004

Subject:UPDATE
Time:2:16 am.
I'M GETTING A TATTOO ON JULY 18 2003!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






.........................And yes, legally. Sheesh.





What should I get? Bat wings with "Super Sadist" written underneath it in red cursive, or just "CALL ME A CUNT" in big large letters? =D


Any other ideas? =)
Comments: 1 Bleeding Heart - Hello Scarling.. .

Subject:Baby, Get A Grip.. It's Only A Sun-Shower, We Been Through Worse Weather. ..Cause We Share, Something So Rare, And Who Cares?
Time:2:03 am.
Mood: crazy.
So.. One of my Sisters.. (From NM, not L3..) Told me something I found HUMOROUS. Something about an ex dating something that is like me so much that I should puke. Or at least that was her own words. =\ I haven't checked the young lady out yet, and I don't really plan to, but I talked to my psych about it and he also found it funny. I told him how I felt and he suggested this song to me, saying this was exactly what I was saying in my own words. (Which he also added included lots of bad words... [You know.. fuckwit... cunt.. asshole.. bastard.. the usual..] Heheh..) Did I mention my Psych reminds me SO MUCH OF BEN that I sometimes want to glomp him and make him mine? ..Er.. Rephrase... SO MUCH OF BEN that I want to passout? </rephrase> Um.. Hehehehe.. Anyway. My Cousin.. Ashley... Who can be reached at thugmissesx05@aol.com (I think...) sent me back all the convo's I had. (Which I had deleted =D Go me! Whoo! BRIT YOU FUCKING ROCK! Yeah, yeah. I do. Whoo. Joel's an asshole! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ~Breaks into song~..stops~ Anyway I been listening to this song non-stop now I fucking FEEL IT and RECCOMEND it to anyone who's ex fucked them over and tried to blame your innocent ass. =D!
And so... Get ready for applause... Yes, yes.. I dub this... the LAST ENTRY TO EVER CONTAIN THE BASTARDS NAME. =D Whoo! Somewhere Vera is crying tears of joy! =D {Simply for my amusement I've included some quotes from my loved ones about that loserly bastard. Eee! The rapture!}



Fighter


After all you've put me through
You think I despise you
But in the end, I wanna thank you
Because you made me that much stronger


Well I thought I knew you.
Thinking that you were true.
Guess I couldn't trust.
Called your bluff, time is up,
Cause I've had enough

You were there by my side
Always down for the ride

But your joyride just came down in flames
Cause your deeds sold me out in shame, mhmm...

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, you're wrong

Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know
Just how capable I am to pull through

So I wanna say thank you cause


It made me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter


Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing

Just so you could cash in on my good things
Before I realize youre game
I heard you're going around
Playing the victim now
But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame
Cause you dug your own grave


After all of the fights and the lies
Guess you wanted to harm me
But that won't work anymore
No more, it's over
Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how
To be this way now
And never back down

So I wanna say thank you cause

It made me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies
Disguise yourself through
Living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me


I am a fighter and I
I ain't gonna stop

There is no turning back
I, I've had enough

It made me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

The one I won't forget
I remember
Oh, I remember
Oh, I remember


---------------------------


Now while I find this one entertaining I like the second one best.

Dear Joel.......... I'm sorry for some of how I acted in the past. However I will not forgive you for telling Brittany to fuck off after she said I love you. NOTHING will EVER justify that. And I also believe that you two are in an ABUSIVE relationship. Maybe not to you, but diffinately to her. And I know she loves you, and I hate that you don't love her like that. But I'm sorry for "going out of my way to insult you" and whatever. So.. hopefully next time we talk, there will be no confrontation. - Vera


And Yes... the following is the BEST OF THEM ALL!!!!!!!!



Due to my absence from the funeral, I would like to say something about poor little Joel.
First of all, JOEL IS DEAD! JOEL IS DEAD! Although he did have some good qualities such as making my sister happy, and making her laugh, he was nice sometimes. He was a very, very bad man. Very very very very bad. He made my sister cry, countless times! That bastard! He made my sister suicidal and depressed. He should burn. I mean, having a new girl, every month, doesn't that just SCREAM out whore? Well, it does to me. And I apologize to everyone who liked Joel. (Which was... what? 3 People.) But, Joel was a very bad lover (So I hear.), and, he broke so many hearts, it's about time his got broken, literally. And I would like to send out a personal thanks to God, for taking him away from us, so we dun have to deal with his outbursts, and his depressed\suicidal girlfriends that he scarred for life. Thank you God, and I'm sure you wont send him to the devil RIGHT away, but in an hour or two. Thank You ladies and gentlemen.

..By the way. As Brittany Ann Marie Archer's lawyer, I would like to add, that due to Mr. Cunningham's death, Miss Archer will be getting the house, the car, the clothes, the jewelry, the guitar, the throne, the tiara, the cats, She wants it all. ^_^

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. And I know it's bad to speak ill of the dead, but he was a horrible human and I hope that dying will cause him to be a better person.. And sometimes he was nice to me, but most of the time he wasn't. So please remember that when reading this. Ta da.

~Hikari.

P.S. Marcus.... YOU ROCK!



Funny Quotes:


Celeste: For all you know, She and Joel could be meant to be together. You two could come between her and Joel's happiness.
Mona: Look. We don't know "Naomi", Okay? We know Brit. We like Brit. If making Joel miserable makes Brit happy.. Lets make her happy. We damn know she needs it.
Celeste: Brit, you can find other ways to be happy. Go tease Ben.
Mona and Brit: That's not fun!
Brit: Why wont you let ME be happy!?
Mona: Yes! No one likes Joel! He's an asshole! Brit an angel.
Brit: The Angel And The Jerk!!!
[ Brit and Mona break into laughter, and Celeste sighs in defeat.]
Comments: 7 Bleeding Hearts - Hello Scarling.. .

Wednesday, June 9th, 2004

Time:5:36 pm.
Hate Mail and Reply =D


Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cuz I juse it to other things than talking @#%$ about a Talented person......so @#%$ of bitch...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I am quite confused, here. Please explain yourself in full detail.

You "juse" something? What is this "juse" and from which word does it originate from? I am curious about "jusing" things. I would like to know if I am capable of "jusing" my brain as well. Is it some sort of mental sport? Is it some sort of mental puzzle? I like puzzles. They are fun. Unless they are the five thousand piece puzzles, then I just get angry at them and force the pieces together. I can tell you, my puzzles with that many pieces never look like the box.

How can you "juse" your brain to "to other things?" I am curious about this process, also. There are so many new things I am wishing to learn about these things you do, please let me know how I go about doing them. I wish to have a vast knowledge of human processes such as "to other"ing and "jusing."

I will assume you were saying "s hit." I never said "s hit" about any talented people. I don't like to talk "s hit" about talented people. It is obvious you do not understand that Avril is untalented, and therefore I can say as much "s hit" about her as I would like. Let us compare. Alanis is talented. She writes her own music, plays an instrument, sings, and has struck big with more than just a pop crowd. She is herself, and no matter what the rumors say, she is willing to dismiss them without foul language and idiocy. I am not saying I like Alanis Morrisette, but I have more respect for her than Avril. Avril is a pop star. Avril likes to believe she is punk, and say utterly unintelligent things about other people, such as Alanis. Avril likes to act stupid, and make stupid videos. Avril is nasty. Avril is dirty. Avril is rather dumb and doesn't write her own music, nor play an instrument.

I will assume you said "f uck." How can I "f uck of bitch?" I would like to know how. If you could guide me through this process of "of"ing, then I would greatly appreciate it. By the way, if I were to take your message in context, I would believe you called me a female dog. What makes you assume I am female, for one? Last time I checked, I was not a dog, either. Unless, of course, I am some sort of forty-six and two anthro dog, then it's a different story, but I have not heard about evolving to forty-six and two within the last year, so I don't think it has happened yet. Though, you may have a sense of the future and may know that I will sometime become some sort of female dog, yet I do not believe in your prophecy, so I will not heed your word.

If I am wrong, I will tell you.
Comments: 1 Bleeding Heart - Hello Scarling.. .

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Subject:Bah.
Time:4:11 pm.
Mood: crazy.
Working on the site. ( http://www.cherry-scented.net ) Right now it's.. well, you'll see. I have a new affiliate! Yay! http://www.strawberrygashes.com Check it out. Her and I might start a webring for Jack Off Jill\Scarling related domain names. I also want to start a Gothic Lolita Clique. Hm.. That's what the new layout theme is going to be. EGL. Yay.

Also.. My birthday is coming up!!!

Please shop at http://www.shadowfae.com or http://www.exquisitelass.com and buy me pretty pretty dresses. I BOUGHT YOU ALL THINGS! Actually you don't have to get me anything. Lol. I'm just messing around. But if you want to.. That's where you go. =^_^=!
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Subject:|)UO M4XW3LL 0WN5 YOU!!!!!!
Time:4:04 pm.
Mood: amused.
Pilot 02, Duo Maxwell
Duo Maxwell -- People often get the wrong idea
about you, but that's ok, kicking ass is easier
when your opponent underestimates you. You've
had a difficult past, but you would go to hell
and back so that others don't have to suffer
the same way. You are smart, tough, and
resourceful. You are also a decent judge of
character when it comes to placing your
loyalties.


Gundam Wing Personality Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
Comments: 1 Bleeding Heart - Hello Scarling.. .

Saturday, June 5th, 2004

Subject:Updates.
Time:12:17 pm.
Mood: enthralled.
I'm sexy! I'm hyper! And god, someone shoot me. (But not really, I like me right now..)

Fujii convinced me to let go of my fakeness of acting dim-witted, around Ben. And now I have to "Be myself.." The problem is.. I'm afraid he might actually like myself! Wait.. is that so bad..? Here's the deal, around Ben for whatever nuerotic reason I act immature, stupid, weak, and dependant. Mostly because that's my character. And when you're used to acting a certain way online it fits. But that ISNT ME AT ALL. But how do I tell him that!? And augh. Augh. </teenage>

Also! Whoo! I found a sexy boy. (Okay, man..) I added ThrowingStarDNA to my list. He's really funny. (Did I mention he is FUCKING HOT!? Reow! [Please don't read this.. Please don't read this..]) I hate being fucking jailbait. I look like I'm 18 half the time. Why do I have to be 16..? Bah. He reminds me of myself.. in a strange crazy... alsmot twilightzone-ish way. Or at least while I'm on my paxil.. My Bi Polar-ness hasn't been bothering me in about 8 months. So yay! My meds are working. Good one doctor! Stupid doctor Sendi.

I sound like a freaking cheerleader instead of my inner gothic lolita ice queen.

Must return to icy cold nature. ..And soon!
Comments: 1 Bleeding Heart - Hello Scarling.. .

Thursday, June 3rd, 2004

Subject:..................................Spiders In My Hair, Guns On My Mind..................... Thinking of The People Who've Been So Unkind..................
Time:1:21 am.
Bees in the caramel and I&apos;m not afraid, Surgeons make incisions.. what a mess they&apos;ve made. Tearing at my skin, leaving knives in my brain. Stabbing at the voices making me insane..




Someone make Ben read "In Conversation" and "Sell My Old Clothes, I'm Off To Heaven".

Make him. MAKE HIM NOW!
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004

Time:11:55 pm.
You have a toothache and go to the dentist. You awake with a strange pain in your head. A botched Lobotomy or a nitrous nightmare? Think Tony Montana from Scarface wearing Strawberry Shortcake's dress.....







Maybe I'll Die tonight.
Comments: Hello Scarling.. .

LiveJournal for The Vampire Claudia.

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